Monday, 21 June 2010

The Fair-Ground Fish Theory

Have you ever noticed that the majority of goldfish won at the fair, say on the hook-a-duck, die pretty soon after being won? We then go through the old routine of flushing them down the toilet only to go back and win another the next year to repeat the whole escapade. I have come to believe that this is all an elaborate plan by fair ground owners. The fish are highly trained, taught to fake their deaths in order to be flushed down the loo. Once flushed, there are two possibilities (we must test these hypotheses in future):

1) The fish are trained to revive themselves and to swim to a rendezvous point where they can be collected again.

2) Someone from the fair waits in the sewer and collects the fish immediately after flushing, ready to be revived later.

Either way they survive. They are then bagged up again and won by more hapless victims. This charade must be exposed! People are being conned into winning the same fish over and over again! Occasionally there is an anomalous fish which enjoys life in a tank and does not fake its death, but the majority do so and are forcing us to spend hard earned cash on the same old fish repeatedly. I haven't even mentioned the mental anguish experienced by a child flushing his or her favourite fishy.

Join me in exposing this fish façade!

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